Permission to Take Up Space: Reclaiming Confidence After Shrinking Yourself 🌿✨
From a young age, many of us learn to make ourselves smaller. Maybe it was the “be nice” messages in childhood, or being told not to “rock the boat.” Maybe it was surviving in a home where silence kept the peace, or navigating a culture that rewarded conformity over individuality.
For some, shrinking looked like staying quiet in the classroom. For others, it was putting everyone else’s needs ahead of their own. Over time, these patterns became automatic—even when the danger or expectation was no longer there.
But here’s the truth: you are allowed to take up space. In your relationships, in your work, in your creativity, and in your own body.
Why We Learn to Shrink Ourselves
People internalize the idea that they’re “too much” or “not enough” in countless ways:
Growing up in families where emotions weren’t safe to express
Navigating trauma or abuse that made silence feel like protection
Being neurodivergent or chronically ill in a world that prizes efficiency over humanity
Receiving constant cultural or gendered messaging to “be easy,” “be accommodating,” or “don’t be demanding”
Shrinking down might have once been a form of survival. But when it lingers into adulthood, it can cut us off from identity, joy, and empowerment.
What Taking Up Space Actually Means 🪷
Taking up space doesn’t mean being selfish, loud, or aggressive. It means showing up as your full self—without apology. It looks like:
Expressing opinions instead of silencing them
Honoring your needs and limits without guilt
Allowing your presence, voice, and body to exist in the world as they are
Taking up space is about authenticity, not domination.
The Cost of Staying Small
Living in “shrink mode” has ripple effects:
Apologizing for asking a simple question at work
Saying “I don’t care, whatever you want” when choosing dinner—even if you do care
Feeling guilty for resting, setting boundaries, or asking for help
Holding back creative ideas out of fear of being “too much”
Struggling to name likes, dislikes, or goals because your focus has always been on others
These subtle patterns don’t just drain energy. They quietly erode self-trust and chip away at confidence over time.
Real-Life Snapshots 🌱
Here’s how shrinking shows up in everyday life:
Parent: A mom tells herself she doesn’t mind being left out of social plans, even though she longs for connection. Years of putting her own needs last make her feel invisible, even to herself.
Teen: A high school student laughs off mean comments instead of standing up for herself. She worries speaking up would only make her “too sensitive.”
Young Adult: A college student hides their true passions, majoring in something “practical” instead of what excites them. Fear of disappointing others overshadows self-discovery.
Professional: An employee stays quiet in meetings, even when they have great ideas. Later, they hear someone else share the same thought—and get credit for it.
Each story shows how shrinking isn’t about weakness. It’s about adaptation. But adaptation doesn’t have to be permanent.
Reclaiming Your Space 🌿✨
Taking up space starts with small, intentional steps:
✨ Practice Small Acts of Visibility
Wear the bold color. Share your opinion in a conversation. Say your preference out loud, even if it’s just choosing the restaurant.
✨ Notice the Apologies
Catch yourself when you say “sorry” unnecessarily. Try replacing it with gratitude: “Thank you for waiting” instead of “Sorry I’m late.”
✨ Rebuild Trust With Your Body
Take up physical space intentionally—stretch wide, plant your feet firmly, roll your shoulders back, or place a hand over your heart. Even noticing your breath expanding your ribcage can remind you: I belong here.
✨ Seek Empowering Relationships
Healing often happens in connection. Surround yourself with people who celebrate your presence. Notice, too, when others expect you to stay small—that awareness matters.
Quick Practice for This Week 🌟
Say one preference out loud each day (what show to watch, where to eat, what music to play).
Spend one minute taking up physical space—stretch, stand tall, breathe deeply, or move freely without apologizing.
Catch one unnecessary apology and replace it with “thank you.”
💡 Try this for one week and notice what feels different. It might feel uncomfortable at first—and that’s normal. You’re gently rewiring years, even decades, of conditioning.
A Gentle Reminder đź’›
You learned to shrink yourself for good reasons—your body and mind were protecting you. But survival strategies don’t have to define your future. Taking up space is not selfish. It’s an act of self-respect, a way of honoring your worth, and an invitation for others to experience the fullness of who you are.
✅ Takeaway: You are not “too much.” You are exactly enough. Reclaiming space means stepping into your confidence and giving yourself permission to exist without apology.
🌿 If you’re ready to stop shrinking and start reclaiming your space, you don’t have to do it alone. Contact us today to connect with a therapist in Nashville and Middle Tennessee who can walk alongside you in this empowering journey.
