Why Some People Struggle More With Transitions: Executive Function and Flexibility 🔄

Change is part of everyday life. Morning routines, school drop-offs, meetings that run late, even shifting from relaxation to productivity—all of these are transitions. For many, they’re mildly stressful but manageable. For others, these shifts feel like mountains to climb.

If you or your child struggle with transitions, it’s not about being “difficult” or unmotivated. It’s about how the brain handles change. Understanding the science behind executive functioning and flexibility can help reframe these struggles with compassion.

What Are Executive Functions? 🧠

Executive functions are like the brain’s project manager. Located mainly in the prefrontal cortex, these skills develop throughout childhood and don’t fully mature until the mid-20s.

Key executive functions include:

• Cognitive Flexibility (Shifting): Switching gears (like moving from playing outside to starting homework).

• Working Memory: Holding information while using it (remembering the steps to get ready for school).

• Inhibitory Control: Pausing before acting (resisting the urge to scroll on your phone when you meant to start work).

When these skills are under strain—due to ADHD, autism, trauma, chronic stress, or burnout—transitions become much harder.

Why Transitions Feel So Hard

1. Mental Shifting Takes Energy
   Switching from one mode to another is like restarting a computer. For some, that reboot takes longer and drains more energy.

2. Big Emotions Get Triggered
   Leaving something enjoyable or facing uncertainty can spark frustration, sadness, or dread. If emotion regulation is tough, those feelings can spill over fast.

3. Loss of Predictability
   Change often means letting go of familiar routines. For many, predictability equals safety, so transitions can feel like losing control.

4. Sensory Overload
   New environments bring new sounds, textures, and expectations. For children with sensory sensitivities—or adults balancing chronic illness—this added input can feel overwhelming.

What This Looks Like in Real Life 🌱

• Child: A 7-year-old sobs every morning before school, not because they hate school, but because shifting from the comfort of home feels like too much.

• Teen: A 14-year-old slams their door when asked to pause gaming for dinner. It’s not about defiance; it’s the difficulty of shifting focus while managing strong feelings.

• Adult: A professional dreads seasonal work changes. Even though they know they’re capable, the mental effort of reorganizing routines feels draining.

The Science of Flexibility 🔬

The hopeful news is that flexibility isn’t fixed. Through neuroplasticity—the brain’s ability to rewire—people can build new pathways for adapting.

• Kids build flexibility through safe practice, play, and structured support.

• Teens and adults can strengthen it through mindfulness, reframing thoughts, and gradual exposure to change.

• Everyone benefits from learning that discomfort doesn’t always equal danger.

Quick Tools to Try This Week 🛠️✨

Small shifts can make a big difference. Try:

✨ Transition Warnings
Offer countdowns: “Five more minutes, then we’ll leave.” Use them consistently for a week and notice if the resistance lessens.

✨ Bridge Activities
Add a neutral step between tasks—reading a short story after school before homework, making tea before evening emails, or even doing 10 jumping jacks between Zoom calls.

✨ Sensory Regulation
Reset the body between transitions: deep breaths, stretching, listening to calming music, or squeezing a stress ball. These help the nervous system shift gears more smoothly.

How Therapy Can Help 🌿

• Play therapy gives children safe ways to practice flexibility—like “surprise change” games that show new routines can feel safe.

• Occupational therapy can support sensory regulation so transitions don’t overwhelm the body.

• Counseling strategies help teens and adults build awareness, reframe unhelpful thought patterns, and practice coping tools tailored to their lives.

• Body-based approaches like Brainspotting or mindfulness help reduce tension so transitions feel less threatening over time.

A Gentle Reframe 💛

Struggling with transitions isn’t a flaw. It’s a signal that the brain is working harder than most to shift gears. With practice, compassion, and support, flexibility can grow—and what once felt impossible can become manageable.

✅ Takeaway: Executive function challenges and sensitivity to change make transitions tough for many kids, teens, and adults. But flexibility is a skill, not a fixed trait. With the right tools and understanding, transitions can become smoother and less stressful.

🌿 If transitions feel overwhelming in your home or daily life, you don’t have to navigate it alone. Contact us today to connect with a therapist in Nashville and Middle Tennessee who can help build skills for calmer, easier shifts.