When Your Child's Back-to-School Excitement Turns to Dread: Supporting Anxious Kids Through Transitions
August in Tennessee means one thing: back-to-school season is here. But what happens when your child’s excitement about new school supplies and seeing friends turns into stomach aches, meltdowns, and “I don’t want to go” battles?
You’re not alone—and your child isn’t being difficult.
School transitions can be especially overwhelming for sensitive, neurodivergent, or trauma-impacted kids. Their nervous systems are working overtime to process new routines, social dynamics, and expectations all at once.
🧠 Why School Transitions Feel So Big
Back-to-school anxiety isn’t just about academics—it’s about safety, connection, and regulation. Even kids who enjoy learning might struggle with:
New teachers (“Will they understand me?”)
Unfamiliar routines (“What if I forget something?”)
Social dynamics (“Where do I fit in?”)
Sensory overload (Crowded hallways, loud cafeterias)
Pressure to perform (“What if I’m not good enough?”)
For children with trauma histories, sensory differences, or executive functioning challenges, these transitions can feel genuinely threatening.
🚩 Red Flags vs. Normal Jitters
Some back-to-school nerves are completely normal:
A few days of clinginess or tearful mornings
Temporary appetite or sleep changes
Complaints that fade within a week or two
Other signs might signal a need for extra support:
Frequent stomachaches or headaches
Meltdowns tied to school routines
Regression in toileting, independence, or emotional skills
Intense school avoidance or shutdown
Hopeless or negative self-talk
🌿 What Helps: Tools for Calming the Storm
1. Start with Nervous System Safety
Before problem-solving, help your child feel safe in their body:
Gentle co-regulation (sit nearby, match their breathing)
Movement (wall pushes, trampoline jumps, a quick walk)
Sensory tools (fidgets, weighted lap pad, calming playlist)
These aren’t distractions—they’re regulation tools.
2. Create Predictable Rhythms
The brain calms down when it knows what to expect.
Practice the morning routine ahead of time
Use visual schedules or checklists
Keep after-school time slow and predictable
Build in buffer time to reduce rushing
Even five extra minutes in the morning can shift the whole day.
3. Validate, Don’t Minimize
Instead of “You’ll be fine,” try:
“Big changes can feel scary.”
“Your brain is trying to protect you.”
“We’ll figure this out together.”
Validation softens anxiety. It helps kids feel seen, not dismissed.
4. Reconnect with Strengths
Anxiety makes kids forget what they’re good at.
Gently remind them:
“You’ve done hard things before.”
“You always notice when a friend needs help.”
“Remember how brave you were last year?”
Confidence is built in moments of connection.
5. Partner with the School
You know your child best. Teachers benefit from your insight.
Consider sharing:
Sensory needs or triggers
What helps your child regulate
Helpful scripts or communication strategies
Recent life changes they should know about
You don’t have to wait for an IEP to start the conversation.
💬 When Therapy Can Help
Sometimes, your child needs more support than home and school can provide—and that’s okay.
Therapy may be helpful if:
School refusal is getting worse
Physical symptoms disrupt daily life
They shut down or become easily overwhelmed
There’s a history of trauma or anxiety
The whole family feels the strain
Play therapy, Brainspotting, and somatic tools are especially effective for kids who don’t always have the words for what they’re feeling—but are still carrying a lot inside.
🧩 Sometimes sensory processing challenges masquerade as anxiety—our occupational therapist can help identify if regulation struggles have a sensory component and offer support that complements therapy.
💛 A Gentle Reminder for Parents
If back-to-school has been rough, it’s not a reflection of your parenting. Some kids just need more time, more support, and more nervous system safety to feel okay.
You’re not overreacting by tuning in. Trust your gut. Your presence is already part of the healing.
✨ Need something to try tonight? Try the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique with your child:
Name 5 things you can see, 4 you can touch, 3 you hear, 2 you smell, and 1 you taste.
It’s a simple way to help the body feel safer in the present moment.
At The Center for Connection & Wellness, we support children and families through transitions like this with trauma-informed, neurodivergent-affirming care. Our team uses approaches like play therapy, Brainspotting, and occupational therapy to support emotional regulation, sensory needs, and confidence-building.
If this season has been especially tough on your child—or your family—it might be time to bring in a little extra support. Therapy doesn’t have to be a last resort. It can be a soft place to land.
👉 Reach out here if you’d like to talk about what support could look like with a consultation call.
